LovePalz Ships, also doesn't, also now in Beta
So, let's go on a little field trip down history lane...
September 2012: Lovepalz does first PR launch, says they got "rejected from kickstarter", gets shitloads of press. Starts taking "preorders" basically harvesting emails.
February 2013: Lovepalz announces ship date of March, starts taking REAL MONEY FROM CUSTOMERS for their product that does not yet exist. No one has seen a set of Lovepalz toys working together yet.
March 2013: Lovepalz does another round of press, gets a shitton, again, because reporters love the internet buttplugs. Slips ship date to April due to "WiFi module". No one has seen a set of Lovepalz toys working together yet. Only videos that have been released look like dev units.
April 2013: Lovepalz slips ship date to May due to "Wifi module". No one has seen a set of Lovepalz toys working together yet. No one has seen a set of Lovepalz toys working together yet. Only videos that have been released look like dev units. NO ONE HAS SEEN A SET OF LOVEPALZ TOYS WORKING TOGETHER YET.
May 30, 2013: Lovepalz announces they are shipping.
Real products. To customers. Who paid 4 months ago. No one has seen a set of Lovepalz toys working together yet. Only videos that have been released look like dev units. NO FUCKING ONE HAS FUCKING SEEN A FUCKING SET OF FUCKING LOVEPALZ TOYS FUCKING YET.
June 2, 2013:
11:21:18 pm: qDot checks twitter. He loves checking twitter! And he always does it with an arctic fox on his shoulder because shut up.
11:21:29 pm: Ooooh, a post from Lovepalz!
11:21:52 pm: Wait. What?
11:22:15 pm: qDot notices that LovePalz is announcing that their beta program is now full. 3 days after they claim to have shipped to customers.
Beta, in the usual definition, is the thing you do to get your product ready before shipping, to work out kinks and make sure it does what you want.
Beta, in the usual definition, is something you do before taking money from customers, though I realize we live in a world of adorable crowdfunding these days where that rule may not apply but hey remember who got kicked off kickstarter, didn't crowd fund, and instead took preorders for something that was supposed to ship?
BETA DOES NOT HAPPEN AFTER YOU HAVE TAKEN MONEY AND SAID YOU SHIPPED
YOU DO NOT CLAIM TO SHIP A SEX TOY THEN FIND OUT IT LEAKS AND WAIT I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER LOVEPALZ MENTIONING THERE IS LUBE INJECTION SO WHAT IS LEAKING OH GOD WAIT DON'T ANSWER THAT
THERE IS QA FAILURE. THEN THERE IS JIZZ ON A FUCKING MOTHERBOARD.
(And no I did not preorder but if you'd like to find out what's on the minds of customers that DID preorder, check out their facebook page)
11:22:41 pm: qDot is sad. Arctic fox is sad.
Someday, maybe, someday, I'll be able to write a post about how the hardware actually works. But bless their hearts, LovePalz is fucking up every single step of the way toward that goal. They are following in the footsteps of many other companies I've watched come and quickly go lo these past many years in the internet buttplug mine.